D&I Leads Breakfast - WoC Leadership Identity and Influence
We had our second D&I Leads Breakfast in Auckland on 26 August 2022. This time we had a smaller group of 5 people and we were all women. This meant we were able to dig into some topics quite deeply.
We discussed two key topics:
How do we shift and influence others who do not understand DE&I?
Being a Woman of Colour leader is often in contradiction with our culture which makes women the more subservient ones, how do we deal with this contradiction?
On Influence
It often feels so devastating when we advocate for our community's needs and we get a no. Because this no can mean our needs and experiences are not valid or valued. In some cases this interpretation is true and we are not here to fool ourselves to say everything is rosy when it is not. However, we are also aware how this interpretation is not helpful as it strips us of our power to continue advocating for our communities. So how do we influence others who have not had similar experiences as us and do not understand?
Two things that I have found very helpful from experience of doing Agile Transformation and Coaching are:
Work out who are your nos and supporters using a battle map
I wish there was a better word than battle map but the concept helps you visualise who are your supporters and who are the influencers of the "no" people. This is a good article that explains it.
Always meet the "client" where they are
All of us that are in DE&I want a better world and we know mostly what that world can look like. However, it is really important that we understand the worlds of the people we are trying to influence. They might not have experienced similar things and might feel threatened by the upcoming and unknown changes. Sometimes what we might be asking them to do is too far out of their comfort zone and this sends threat signals. So we need to meet them where they are and take a "step" with them that is achievable and tolerable. What is a "step" to them does not equal what is a "step" to you and even better if you can get them to voice out what that step looks like for them.
On WoC Leadership Identity
As a woman of colour, I can relate to the contradicting messages and expectations that I get from my culture and my work world. I am encouraged to speak up and lead in the Western world when my Chinese culture still expects me to be a housewife who bears children. How do we deal with these contradictions? We passed the mic around the 5 of us who were at the D&I Leads breakfast and got these great answers:
Be aware of the self-talk that we have, e.g. what is the self-talk from our family and society and how is this impacting on our leadership identity?
Look for role models who have broken out of the mould
Acknowledge the differences between our culture and the work world so that we can choose when to adopt certain concepts and expectations
As WoC, we have these struggles and that is why we are so valuable in that we are able to understand and care more.
Our next D&I Breakfast is in Auckland on 11 October. Email hello@asyou.org for an invite.