Self Confidence - Do You Have to "Fake it Til You Make it"?

Advice is often out there that before you have the confidence to do something, you have to fake it first, pretending to yourself and others that you have the abilities. Like I have mentioned in my video about self confidence , it is your trust in your abilities to do something and this trust comes from 2 things: your skill level and your previous record of success.

What if you are at the beginning of something where you have no skill level and no previous record to rely upon? Then is it useful to have this mentality of “fake it til you make it”?

Like a lot of you, I feel like “fake it til I make it” makes me feel not genuine, in the vein of I am lying about my abilities in front of the whole world, I am an imposter. Before we disregard this advice, we need to aknowledge that it is scientifically true that our brain interprets our fake smiles as having the same effects as real smiles and as Amy Cuddy has talked about in her famous TED talk - Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are that being in a power pose for 2 minutes dramatically change your confidence and therefore outcome.

If you are like me and still find it hard to accept the fake it til you make it advice. I would like to offer you an alternative which is to start by believing in ourselves because we know this belief will give us the best chance of success.

To give you a personal example, lately, I have joined a new sport, ultimate frisbee and it has made me realise how important confidence is in sports. The results we get are almost directly proportionate to our confidence. Like any other beginner in ultimate frisbee, I can either choose to believe in myself, take and throw the frisbee like there is no tomorrow or I can be engrossed in my negative self talk and run away from participating in the game. However, I know in order to get better in this sport, I had to believe in myself and play confidently as that will give me the best chance to get better.

Can you think of a parallel example in your life where you had to believe in yourself no matter what because the opposite will definitely lead to worse outcomes? If so, hold on to that feeling and tap into that next time when you come across a new challenge.

Contact me for a free 30-min discovery chat on how coaching can help you to gain more confidence today.