When to Quit?

Sometimes the bravest and hardest thing to do is to walk away from the situation that does not serve you anymore. I think our society overvalues perseverance and grit that we often don't pause and think, is this the right thing to spend my energy and time on, is this serving me anymore?

Lately, I have been playing a lot of competitive mixed ultimate frisbee. I knew pretty early on in the mixed season I knew I wasn't enjoying it too much but it wasn't until the point of tears coming down my face during a training that I realised I need to reflect upon why I was doing it.

A lot of times, we know things are not quite right early on whether that is a job, a relationship or a situation but we have a hard time deciding and letting go.

The following three questions have helped me assess if competitive mixed frisbee is the right thing for me and this might help you assess your situation as the same principles apply.

Question 1: Does my employer or team or partner value the same things as I do?

This question is on the culture fit. Culture fit is important because most conflicts happen between people because of a difference in values.

Question 2: Does my employer, team or partner operate in a similar style to me?

This is a question on compatibility. It is not a deal breaker if two people's operating styles are different but it is a tough one if one party always has to compromise to fit.

Question 3: Does the situation serve me, i.e. if I was to stay what am I staying in it for?

This is the most important question when it comes to quitting. It gets to the crux of why you are doing what you are doing. If the reasons to stay do not align to your goals or what you want to get out of the situation, then that is a no.

If you have answered all three questions with a no, then it is pretty clear that it is time to move on. At this point, I would encourage you to walk away with your head held high because you know it is not you nor the situation, the person or the employer, it is more that simply the two of you are not a good match.